That seems to be my theme as of late. Fortunately, it's a good sort of busy.
Language: I've noticed lately that I've been picking up new vocabulary much easier than I used to... And it isn't that the vocabulary has been getting easier. I think it's because I'm eating and sleeping better so my brain is finally starting to operate. This upcoming weekend marks the start of class break (four more days!) and I am looking forward to the chance to unwind and shift it into high gear. Contradictory ideas, right? Well... It'll be an escape from the schedule which allows me to review old material without new stuff being dumped on me. At my own pace. I'm really looking forward to it.
Apartment: My apartment is really starting to come together... The Lady was here on Saturday and she cleaned up my kitchen for me. She also cooked and prepped my veggie box. My brother votes for marrying her. Heh. Anyways, I've been making keeping the kitchen clean a priority since she went through all the trouble to do that and I've been succeeding. Actually, I've been improving upon the apartment as a whole. On Sunday I would work shifts between homework, the apartment, and gaming. Mmm.
Oh. The really obnoxious neighbors beneath me moved out. Now I don't have to listen to them screaming at 0300 anymore.
Automotive: Ow. Ow. Ow. So I am looking at over $780 to repair my car... new rear struts, a new windshield wiper reservoir, oil change and engine scrub, and radiator flush. I really needed the work, especially before class break and the 3000 or so miles I'm expecting to put on it, but OW. I am now strapped for cash. Fortunately, with my BAH, BAS, and functional kitchen I can afford it. Unfortunately, they kept my car overnight and the Marine I was hoping to get a ride from is on class break himself. The bus doesn't operate early enough so I'm eating a $30 cab fare tomorrow... Cingular owes me $500 and apparently already cut the check. Where is it? The post office better not have screwed up my mail so soon after fixing it.
Fitness: I've adjusted my weight lifting routine and it is definitely smoking me harder... Except I need to make sure I eat first. Today I ran a stairs routine with my fire team then tried to lift and my blood sugar absolutely tanked out. It rarely gets that low but, when it does, it's bad news: I start to white out, break into a cold sweat, feel really weak, really nauseous... Fortunately, I managed to recover this morning by sipping my smoothie (sugar infusion) and taking a breather for 5-10 minutes. I lost track of time. My system was still apparently trashed as I fell asleep in the sauna but I felt much better when I woke up. First time I've managed to recover from that serious of a crash without vomiting or something.
Medical: Besides the aforementioned crash... I do feel healthier. My blood sugar is stabilizing throughout the day and that energy stuff I'm drinking really works well. My feet are healing up too, which is nice. I purchased some hydrogen peroxide that I need to dilute and start using. I'm hoping to flush my system over the next few weeks so that all this work I'm doing isn't inhibited by 20 years of neglect and toxins.
Military: One thing that Marines do differently than any other service is give out more responsibility at a lesser rank... I'm junior enlisted but I'm in charge of four other Marines. You have to be an NCO in the Army for that to start. It is good training and I really appreciate the experience (plus the pro/con marks) but it mostly involves a lot of work. For example, on Sunday I had to spend two hours driving out there to inspect my fire team members for various reasons. One of them has serious disciplinary trouble... I won't go into details. It was bad and put me in a foul mood. Hopefully it'll be resolved tomorrow when we have a chat with Corporal. I really don't know how you correct something like this so it'll be interesting to see what happens.
It could be worse. At least my guys don't get NJPed or blow off class.
Personal: Patience is a virtue that I seemingly lack...
I have to take time out of each day to go over a mental checklist I've formed concerning the Lady and the multitude of relationships involved. Unfortunately, as my uncle said, I'm 'socially retarded' and that means, among other things, that I suck at reading people. Really, really badly. So I have an impossible time trying to figure out what is going on.
I may have more to say when my thoughts are in order. Right now, I'm really getting wound up over nothing. Things seem to fluctuate on a day-to-day basis. Besides, it'll be really interesting to see what happens over class break.
Hrm... One downside to being so busy as of late is that my sleep time is reduced. I've also been running a whole lot less. Well, time to take care of one issue.
18 June 2007
13 June 2007
Life is Weird
Pretty much sums it up...
Kicked off this morning with a fartlek run and lifting weights. The fartlek rocked as I smoked my fire team and wasn't even that winded. Today was my legs and shoulders day so by the time I was done my legs were done too. Sitting on any surface insufficiently padded hurts.
I had my speaking test today, pounded a ton of vocab, then had speaking practice. I think I did alright on the speaking test. The vocab is really sticking. I learned a lot in speaking practice. All said, not a bad day for language learning.
Then I went and dropped my car off this afternoon to get it all fixed and ready for the 3000 or so miles I'm going to add to it starting next weekend. I didn't realize just how much little stuff was wrong with it until I started listing it off for the mechanic. Poor guy.
M'Lady was the one who picked me up from the autoport and brought me to my apartment. Then we hung out this evening. Earlier this morning she was all smiles and said she had realized something today and would share with me later... So she did. She's decided to take a few years to take care of herself, finish up grad school, and rediscover her passion for life. She says it's been waning as her priorities and reasons for doing things have shifted away from what she truly wants. She also said that, coincidentally, the people that she is interested in a future with get out of the military about the same time she's due to graduate. And she says that at the end of all this the people who are important, who are good friends, and who she can trust will still be there.
This is the weird part... I agree with all of that. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. There was an initial few minutes of dislike for the scenario as it means I'm denied what I desire but I quickly started recounting the positives to this.
She wants to get to know people... She wants that friendship to be there before having an exclusive relationship. That's what a relationship should be based off of. You're good friends first and then you add that little bit extra. Establishing that first is a good thing
Time tests things... All relationships go through that test. Most fail. Getting that test out of the way while you are friends helps determine who is quality and who isn't. It also lets you know what you're really getting into.
Also, the longer you are denied something the more you want it... It's my own fault for awakening that desire of mine. Now I get to watch it simmer as time goes on. One of these days, I'll actually get to sate that desire of mine and it will live up to the hype. And it'll be special.
She is also taking action on her own to get her life in order... I swear, the more I talk with her the more impressed I am. She's strong enough to take care of herself and intends on making sure she is self-sufficient. I agree. A relationship isn't about two incomplete people trying to compensate for the other. It's about two good people who are better together.
Heh. We talk like we're going to know each other for a very long time... I hope so. She was talking about my visiting her whenever I come home as my dad wants to move near where her parents are. Then there was talk of just going places when I take leave.
While we were talking today she started talking about some of her professors from college. They taught anthropology. Suddenly she turned to me and said, "You would like anthropology." So we started discussing why... And I think she may be right. Cultural anthropology. Field work.
Travel the world. Meet interesting new people. Learn the language. Live the culture. Do things extremely few other people have. Share your experiences. Live the adventure.
That is one of my biggest concerns for my entire life: living the adventure. I want my life to mean something. I want to accomplish something. The stories that her professors have are the stories that I want for myself. I can start training for it now. I already have been.
Just now I have more direction... In a few different ways. Life is weird but good.
Kicked off this morning with a fartlek run and lifting weights. The fartlek rocked as I smoked my fire team and wasn't even that winded. Today was my legs and shoulders day so by the time I was done my legs were done too. Sitting on any surface insufficiently padded hurts.
I had my speaking test today, pounded a ton of vocab, then had speaking practice. I think I did alright on the speaking test. The vocab is really sticking. I learned a lot in speaking practice. All said, not a bad day for language learning.
Then I went and dropped my car off this afternoon to get it all fixed and ready for the 3000 or so miles I'm going to add to it starting next weekend. I didn't realize just how much little stuff was wrong with it until I started listing it off for the mechanic. Poor guy.
M'Lady was the one who picked me up from the autoport and brought me to my apartment. Then we hung out this evening. Earlier this morning she was all smiles and said she had realized something today and would share with me later... So she did. She's decided to take a few years to take care of herself, finish up grad school, and rediscover her passion for life. She says it's been waning as her priorities and reasons for doing things have shifted away from what she truly wants. She also said that, coincidentally, the people that she is interested in a future with get out of the military about the same time she's due to graduate. And she says that at the end of all this the people who are important, who are good friends, and who she can trust will still be there.
This is the weird part... I agree with all of that. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. There was an initial few minutes of dislike for the scenario as it means I'm denied what I desire but I quickly started recounting the positives to this.
She wants to get to know people... She wants that friendship to be there before having an exclusive relationship. That's what a relationship should be based off of. You're good friends first and then you add that little bit extra. Establishing that first is a good thing
Time tests things... All relationships go through that test. Most fail. Getting that test out of the way while you are friends helps determine who is quality and who isn't. It also lets you know what you're really getting into.
Also, the longer you are denied something the more you want it... It's my own fault for awakening that desire of mine. Now I get to watch it simmer as time goes on. One of these days, I'll actually get to sate that desire of mine and it will live up to the hype. And it'll be special.
She is also taking action on her own to get her life in order... I swear, the more I talk with her the more impressed I am. She's strong enough to take care of herself and intends on making sure she is self-sufficient. I agree. A relationship isn't about two incomplete people trying to compensate for the other. It's about two good people who are better together.
Heh. We talk like we're going to know each other for a very long time... I hope so. She was talking about my visiting her whenever I come home as my dad wants to move near where her parents are. Then there was talk of just going places when I take leave.
While we were talking today she started talking about some of her professors from college. They taught anthropology. Suddenly she turned to me and said, "You would like anthropology." So we started discussing why... And I think she may be right. Cultural anthropology. Field work.
Travel the world. Meet interesting new people. Learn the language. Live the culture. Do things extremely few other people have. Share your experiences. Live the adventure.
That is one of my biggest concerns for my entire life: living the adventure. I want my life to mean something. I want to accomplish something. The stories that her professors have are the stories that I want for myself. I can start training for it now. I already have been.
Just now I have more direction... In a few different ways. Life is weird but good.
12 June 2007
Feedback Loop
Today has been really odd... It started off awesome. I PTed with my fireteam, went to the gym, had a good weight lifting session, drank my tasty shake took a nice hot shower, went to the sauna, took a really refreshing cold sauna, and made it to class with a bit of time to spare and feeling really good. My speaking practice went well and I spent the rest of the day rocking out studying vocab. It was really sticking too.
The Lady and I chatted a bit today... and now she's feeling all sorts of confused on account of her ex. He, apparently, is really confused too. This leaves me to, once again, fill the role of anchor. She even commented on it too. On how I'm the only steady, reliable thing in the whole equation. Now, consciously I determined that there's nothing for me to do in this situation but support her in whatever she does. Therefore, I shouldn't worry. Why worry about what you can't change anyways?
Unfortunately, my subconsciousness didn't want to listen to my consciousness and started up some sort of wierd stress feedback loop. Shortly after I got off the phone with M'Lady I suddenly felt old and tired. I tried going to dinner with the Hooah but only got more agitated. It lasted through study hall but I managed to shake it off by blaring my music really loud and singing along on the way home. Heh... It reminded me of something my teacher said when we were prepping for a song in class. She was complimenting and thanking everyone for their hard work and good singing then she got to me and said that, "You tried so hard."
Heh.
Anyways... Test tomorrow. I feel decent. And tomorrow is a new day. One thing I've definitely learned as of late is just how much can happen in one day so we'll see what happens.
The Lady and I chatted a bit today... and now she's feeling all sorts of confused on account of her ex. He, apparently, is really confused too. This leaves me to, once again, fill the role of anchor. She even commented on it too. On how I'm the only steady, reliable thing in the whole equation. Now, consciously I determined that there's nothing for me to do in this situation but support her in whatever she does. Therefore, I shouldn't worry. Why worry about what you can't change anyways?
Unfortunately, my subconsciousness didn't want to listen to my consciousness and started up some sort of wierd stress feedback loop. Shortly after I got off the phone with M'Lady I suddenly felt old and tired. I tried going to dinner with the Hooah but only got more agitated. It lasted through study hall but I managed to shake it off by blaring my music really loud and singing along on the way home. Heh... It reminded me of something my teacher said when we were prepping for a song in class. She was complimenting and thanking everyone for their hard work and good singing then she got to me and said that, "You tried so hard."
Heh.
Anyways... Test tomorrow. I feel decent. And tomorrow is a new day. One thing I've definitely learned as of late is just how much can happen in one day so we'll see what happens.
11 June 2007
Going to Where the Wind Blows...
Let's see...
Language: Wow. So... The EOCT kicked my butt. Grrr. Now I have to redirect fire and try not to get blindsided again. We've been working on that for a few weeks and I think there's been some improvement but who knows? The material we've been working with is so far ahead of the curve that it's difficult to gauge just how well I'm doing. I've also been trying to gear up for the next (normal) unit test coming up this week. I'm feeling alright about it all, to be honest. Each time the language starts to really get me down I have an awesome speaking session.
A week or two ago I managed to detail my life story in Korean to my teacher. That same morning he and I started rambling about space Marines on account of my finally finding out that Starcraft 2 is coming out. There's been a few cracks about my trying to play with some Koreans for speaking practice but we all know that they'd destroy me. Starcraft is a cult over there. On a slightly more serious note I managed to pull a rather detailed comparison between the cultures and languages of the USA and Korea in Korean out of the air. My teacher was so impressed he's charged me with writing an essay and entering it into the contest. We'll see...
My study hasn't been all I've wanted it to be with everything going on... There's just not enough time in the day. It is getting better, however. Giggles has been doing better with the tutoring, which is always nice. My vocab project may have had it's official support stripped from it by a couple of teacher's pride, however. Hrmph. They have another thing coming if they think their delicate ego is going to stop a Marine from accomplishing his mission.
Fitness: I haven't been running much lately but I've been lifting more and I'm noticing subtle changes here and there. Today I've decided to abandon the circuit course and go for the classic three-set plan. I'm just not moving fast enough between stations thanks to how the weights are set up in the fitness center and how crowded it gets so I'm not getting the benefits. I've also bit the bullet and started making post-workout shakes to give my muscles what they need to recover from being smoked. They are pretty tasty with my milk, yogurt, liquid multivitamin, whey protein, banana, and frozen strawberries. Not too heavy on the fruit thanks to the sugar content but it works out. I've also found this new energy supplement that works wonders on my system with no noticeable side effects. That's also very nice.
I'm still planning on running the San Francisco Marathon... It'll be a challenge because I've been running less but I can pull it off. I'm that stubborn. Plus I now have a few good friends willing to support me when I'm weak.
Apartment: This has turned out to be one hell of a project... But it's slowly coming together. My kitchen finally has appliances in it and now I have not one but two girls who like to come over and try their hand at cooking. My other friend (being a guy) helps me with the dishes. The place is still a mess (even though my friends deny it) but it's getting better. The best part of it all is that I am feeling better and I'm developing a sanctuary here. The energy is really good... My friends come here and feel relaxed just by being here. Even the plants are responding to it and are just taking off.
Oh. I've also started collecting BAH... So very, very nice. I'm not poor anymore. Thank you, admin!
Automotive: I think there is something wrong with my left rear wheel... like the shock is a little out of whack. I only notice it when the vehicle is heavily loaded but it doesn't take bumps too well. It looks like it's been lowered. Honest. I'm going to take it the autoport this week or the next as I'm planning on a 560+ mile drive home for class break. That's going to be a blast.
Gaming: Purchased the Starcraft Battle Chest. Mmmm. A classic. Purchased God of War 2... So sick. The Musician calls it the most epic game ever. I only play it when the others are around. I've played with the new D&D group a couple of times too but I'm seriously debating dropping D&D all together. I feel like I have the choice been role playing a hero or really being one with where my life is going now.
Medical: So my mask was trying to eat the skin off my face earlier. It seems to be better now but that really hurt. It's still a bit annoying... Being asked 6-8 times per day what was wrong with my face was really annoying. I need to figure out how to regulate this.
Military: Being a fireteam leader has it's ups and downs... I'm not quite sure what the ups are though. The experience is valuable but I feel like every time I slip in the slightest that I'm going to get reamed for it. Hasn't happened yet (the reaming part) but it keeps me on my toes. I'm still trying to fuse us into a tighter unit and now we have a nug. For some reason, Corporal gave him to me instead of to Hairdo (another fireteam leader). It's rather exciting to get my first boot to chew on. Privates are absolutely adorable.
Personal: I could go into detail but... No. This is something personal. Ha!
Let's just say that I have found 'better' in the form of a lovely young lady with red hair and crystal blue eyes. Truly better. So much so that I feel like I'm racing to keep up with her... Which is a nice change to my trying to drag all these little girls along with me. Of course, M'Lady doesn't think she's that amazing (even though she has specified which adjectives I'm allowed to use for describing certain things and they are not humble words). I think what we are most impressed with is how things are quiet when we are near the other. Even if the world is a storm around us, we can generate this little bubble of peace and calm when we are together. We're both used to just giving and giving and giving to the people around us until we are truly exhausted on multiple levels.
Now we seem to be feeding each other and being stronger together than we are alone.
I'm trying really hard to be sane about this... And I have the driver's seat. Which is kind of amusing considering how she is everywhere else. There is something else I've noticed. When I'm close to her, it feels right. Kissing her puts me to ease instead of sets me on edge. It's a huge difference compared to where I've been before and just one more way of underlining how wrong that person was for me. However. I am thankful for the experience to show me just how wonderful M'Lady is.
I feel compelled to work harder... To be worthy. To be what the best that I can be for her. And so, my quest continues. It is a personal one but it is the one that truly matters.
Language: Wow. So... The EOCT kicked my butt. Grrr. Now I have to redirect fire and try not to get blindsided again. We've been working on that for a few weeks and I think there's been some improvement but who knows? The material we've been working with is so far ahead of the curve that it's difficult to gauge just how well I'm doing. I've also been trying to gear up for the next (normal) unit test coming up this week. I'm feeling alright about it all, to be honest. Each time the language starts to really get me down I have an awesome speaking session.
A week or two ago I managed to detail my life story in Korean to my teacher. That same morning he and I started rambling about space Marines on account of my finally finding out that Starcraft 2 is coming out. There's been a few cracks about my trying to play with some Koreans for speaking practice but we all know that they'd destroy me. Starcraft is a cult over there. On a slightly more serious note I managed to pull a rather detailed comparison between the cultures and languages of the USA and Korea in Korean out of the air. My teacher was so impressed he's charged me with writing an essay and entering it into the contest. We'll see...
My study hasn't been all I've wanted it to be with everything going on... There's just not enough time in the day. It is getting better, however. Giggles has been doing better with the tutoring, which is always nice. My vocab project may have had it's official support stripped from it by a couple of teacher's pride, however. Hrmph. They have another thing coming if they think their delicate ego is going to stop a Marine from accomplishing his mission.
Fitness: I haven't been running much lately but I've been lifting more and I'm noticing subtle changes here and there. Today I've decided to abandon the circuit course and go for the classic three-set plan. I'm just not moving fast enough between stations thanks to how the weights are set up in the fitness center and how crowded it gets so I'm not getting the benefits. I've also bit the bullet and started making post-workout shakes to give my muscles what they need to recover from being smoked. They are pretty tasty with my milk, yogurt, liquid multivitamin, whey protein, banana, and frozen strawberries. Not too heavy on the fruit thanks to the sugar content but it works out. I've also found this new energy supplement that works wonders on my system with no noticeable side effects. That's also very nice.
I'm still planning on running the San Francisco Marathon... It'll be a challenge because I've been running less but I can pull it off. I'm that stubborn. Plus I now have a few good friends willing to support me when I'm weak.
Apartment: This has turned out to be one hell of a project... But it's slowly coming together. My kitchen finally has appliances in it and now I have not one but two girls who like to come over and try their hand at cooking. My other friend (being a guy) helps me with the dishes. The place is still a mess (even though my friends deny it) but it's getting better. The best part of it all is that I am feeling better and I'm developing a sanctuary here. The energy is really good... My friends come here and feel relaxed just by being here. Even the plants are responding to it and are just taking off.
Oh. I've also started collecting BAH... So very, very nice. I'm not poor anymore. Thank you, admin!
Automotive: I think there is something wrong with my left rear wheel... like the shock is a little out of whack. I only notice it when the vehicle is heavily loaded but it doesn't take bumps too well. It looks like it's been lowered. Honest. I'm going to take it the autoport this week or the next as I'm planning on a 560+ mile drive home for class break. That's going to be a blast.
Gaming: Purchased the Starcraft Battle Chest. Mmmm. A classic. Purchased God of War 2... So sick. The Musician calls it the most epic game ever. I only play it when the others are around. I've played with the new D&D group a couple of times too but I'm seriously debating dropping D&D all together. I feel like I have the choice been role playing a hero or really being one with where my life is going now.
Medical: So my mask was trying to eat the skin off my face earlier. It seems to be better now but that really hurt. It's still a bit annoying... Being asked 6-8 times per day what was wrong with my face was really annoying. I need to figure out how to regulate this.
Military: Being a fireteam leader has it's ups and downs... I'm not quite sure what the ups are though. The experience is valuable but I feel like every time I slip in the slightest that I'm going to get reamed for it. Hasn't happened yet (the reaming part) but it keeps me on my toes. I'm still trying to fuse us into a tighter unit and now we have a nug. For some reason, Corporal gave him to me instead of to Hairdo (another fireteam leader). It's rather exciting to get my first boot to chew on. Privates are absolutely adorable.
Personal: I could go into detail but... No. This is something personal. Ha!
Let's just say that I have found 'better' in the form of a lovely young lady with red hair and crystal blue eyes. Truly better. So much so that I feel like I'm racing to keep up with her... Which is a nice change to my trying to drag all these little girls along with me. Of course, M'Lady doesn't think she's that amazing (even though she has specified which adjectives I'm allowed to use for describing certain things and they are not humble words). I think what we are most impressed with is how things are quiet when we are near the other. Even if the world is a storm around us, we can generate this little bubble of peace and calm when we are together. We're both used to just giving and giving and giving to the people around us until we are truly exhausted on multiple levels.
Now we seem to be feeding each other and being stronger together than we are alone.
I'm trying really hard to be sane about this... And I have the driver's seat. Which is kind of amusing considering how she is everywhere else. There is something else I've noticed. When I'm close to her, it feels right. Kissing her puts me to ease instead of sets me on edge. It's a huge difference compared to where I've been before and just one more way of underlining how wrong that person was for me. However. I am thankful for the experience to show me just how wonderful M'Lady is.
I feel compelled to work harder... To be worthy. To be what the best that I can be for her. And so, my quest continues. It is a personal one but it is the one that truly matters.
03 June 2007
I am not dead!
Two weeks without an update... I know... I know. This is horrific.
I'm not even going to try and bother with catching up. Let's just say that I've had a really crazy last couple of weeks but that things are moving forward. I'll try and be better about posting but I have too much work to do right now.
I'm not even going to try and bother with catching up. Let's just say that I've had a really crazy last couple of weeks but that things are moving forward. I'll try and be better about posting but I have too much work to do right now.
20 May 2007
R&R
I did a little bit of homework today... How I hate these dictionary hunts. And I repotted my plants, purchased a paper shredder, cleaned a bit, and did laundry. One of the Marines in my platoon is moving and called to offer me a bunch of his stuff, which is nice. I get the details on that tomorrow. Outside of that, today was the final day of a very relaxing weekend.
The Hooah and the Musician both crashed at my house after RHPS to save me 40 minutes of drive time so we woke up this morning and chilled. The Hooah slept in later than the Musician or myself, who started cleaning. Then I ran out for a couple errands and to snag donuts and bagels. I came back to them watching Metalocalypse on my computer. We inhaled baked goods and watched some more Flash before finally deciding that watching a movie would be fun.
We went out and, after a couple flips of a coin, wound up renting Red Dawn. It was my pick and while the Musician sort of watched it, the Hooah was distracted throughout most of the movie. They did, however, pay enough attention to make some really noisy (if amusing) commentary. I actually had to turn on the caption just to understand the dialogue. All in all, it was a good movie. It avoided playing into the unbelievable, happy cliches and actually did a fairly good job trying to realistically handle the subject matter. I have a growing list of old movies I want to rent and watch that I either never saw before or saw so long ago that I forget what they were about.
After the movie I took the Hooah and the Musician home... It was already late in the afternoon. I did a bit of work but then wound up killing more time. Heh.
I had a really good weekend. It was as unproductive as it was good but I don't mind. I was feeling homicidal Thursday afternoon so I think I was due for a mind-numbing break... This weekend helped me realize a few things too.
My standard for what hanging out with friends means has been raised. This was the first time I can remember hanging out with friends... especially for this long... without the undertones of stress. Even my best moments with the Momrine had that undercurrent of stress. This weekend started with an awesome D&D game on Friday and kept on going. I laughed, chatted, shared stories, told jokes, teased mercilessly, let people into my space, etc. more than I ever have before. It's a new, incredibly enjoyable experience that I want to repeat often.
The Hooah and I have a very strong relationship too... It lends a lot of strength to my idea that 'family' status is earned and lost based on your actions and not your blood. I've never been more comfortable with someone before and, just to remind everyone, it's not romantic in the least. We're siblings. I'm the older one. We tease each other and don't mind. I have no problem letting her into my space. We trust each other. A few times this weekend I would just reach over and snag a sip of her drink and it made me think of that infernal "water brothers" thing that the Momrine and Guy tried to force on all of us.
It just struck me how that "water brother" thing had the ceremony, was declared to be special, blown up into this huge deal, and ultimately meant nothing except an excuse for bad behavior and a way to try and guilt trip the Hooah into putting up with their nonsense. I never liked the idea. It was that sharing water made you closer than anyone else but, as you all know, that obviously didn't work. The Hooah and I, however, had no ceremony, no fancy declaration, never made a big deal out of everything... But our relationship is actually akin to that of siblings. And we do share 'water' as I have no qualms about snagging some of her tea because it's tasty and available. Anyone who knows me knows that I am usually reluctant to share drinks like that. Same thing when the Hooah and the Musician slept over and I was splitting up my bedding with them. It crossed my mind to try and give her the blanket I wasn't in direct contact with and she looked at me funny and asked me what our relationship is. Siblings. So she doesn't really care.
I'm not doing a good job of explaining it. But, for the first time ever, I've found someone that I'm really, really comfortable with... And we are rather different. We've fought in the past. But both of us know that we can count on the each other when things get rough. My relationship with the Hooah really is the one good thing to come out of this whole mess with the Momrine. Besides my meeting her at the game, the BS from all that helped strengthen our relationship.
I also really like the Musician that she is so fond of. He did a lot of little things this weekend that strike me as classic 'nice guy' things... Such as offering to help me with this or that and pitching in for gas and food. Little things that I didn't have to mention and most people never consider. He's also very intelligent and has done things with his life. I'm very happy for the Hooah.
Another thing (totally unrelated) that struck me this weekend is that the female form has lost the sense of wonder it used to hold for me. I used to look at the female form as mysterious, magical, wonderful, beautiful... Now it's rather dull. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because I've been exposed to it more? Maybe it's because I invested my sense of wonder in someone who really wasn't and it stripped away that naivety? The Hooah says that when you find someone important that the feeling comes back. I was contemplating that and was thinking that when I find a girl who leaves me awe-struck in all of her natural, simplistic beauty that I'll be on my way to finding a winner.
It's still a somewhat sobering situation. I want there to be some wonder in the world.
Back to work tomorrow. Long weekend coming up... And the Hooah will be out of town so I'll probably be stuck in my apartment being bored. Heh. I need to make more friends but it's not easy finding decent people. Especially when you already have one or two awesome friends and don't necessarily feel compelled to associate with the not-so-awesome people.
The Hooah and the Musician both crashed at my house after RHPS to save me 40 minutes of drive time so we woke up this morning and chilled. The Hooah slept in later than the Musician or myself, who started cleaning. Then I ran out for a couple errands and to snag donuts and bagels. I came back to them watching Metalocalypse on my computer. We inhaled baked goods and watched some more Flash before finally deciding that watching a movie would be fun.
We went out and, after a couple flips of a coin, wound up renting Red Dawn. It was my pick and while the Musician sort of watched it, the Hooah was distracted throughout most of the movie. They did, however, pay enough attention to make some really noisy (if amusing) commentary. I actually had to turn on the caption just to understand the dialogue. All in all, it was a good movie. It avoided playing into the unbelievable, happy cliches and actually did a fairly good job trying to realistically handle the subject matter. I have a growing list of old movies I want to rent and watch that I either never saw before or saw so long ago that I forget what they were about.
After the movie I took the Hooah and the Musician home... It was already late in the afternoon. I did a bit of work but then wound up killing more time. Heh.
I had a really good weekend. It was as unproductive as it was good but I don't mind. I was feeling homicidal Thursday afternoon so I think I was due for a mind-numbing break... This weekend helped me realize a few things too.
My standard for what hanging out with friends means has been raised. This was the first time I can remember hanging out with friends... especially for this long... without the undertones of stress. Even my best moments with the Momrine had that undercurrent of stress. This weekend started with an awesome D&D game on Friday and kept on going. I laughed, chatted, shared stories, told jokes, teased mercilessly, let people into my space, etc. more than I ever have before. It's a new, incredibly enjoyable experience that I want to repeat often.
The Hooah and I have a very strong relationship too... It lends a lot of strength to my idea that 'family' status is earned and lost based on your actions and not your blood. I've never been more comfortable with someone before and, just to remind everyone, it's not romantic in the least. We're siblings. I'm the older one. We tease each other and don't mind. I have no problem letting her into my space. We trust each other. A few times this weekend I would just reach over and snag a sip of her drink and it made me think of that infernal "water brothers" thing that the Momrine and Guy tried to force on all of us.
It just struck me how that "water brother" thing had the ceremony, was declared to be special, blown up into this huge deal, and ultimately meant nothing except an excuse for bad behavior and a way to try and guilt trip the Hooah into putting up with their nonsense. I never liked the idea. It was that sharing water made you closer than anyone else but, as you all know, that obviously didn't work. The Hooah and I, however, had no ceremony, no fancy declaration, never made a big deal out of everything... But our relationship is actually akin to that of siblings. And we do share 'water' as I have no qualms about snagging some of her tea because it's tasty and available. Anyone who knows me knows that I am usually reluctant to share drinks like that. Same thing when the Hooah and the Musician slept over and I was splitting up my bedding with them. It crossed my mind to try and give her the blanket I wasn't in direct contact with and she looked at me funny and asked me what our relationship is. Siblings. So she doesn't really care.
I'm not doing a good job of explaining it. But, for the first time ever, I've found someone that I'm really, really comfortable with... And we are rather different. We've fought in the past. But both of us know that we can count on the each other when things get rough. My relationship with the Hooah really is the one good thing to come out of this whole mess with the Momrine. Besides my meeting her at the game, the BS from all that helped strengthen our relationship.
I also really like the Musician that she is so fond of. He did a lot of little things this weekend that strike me as classic 'nice guy' things... Such as offering to help me with this or that and pitching in for gas and food. Little things that I didn't have to mention and most people never consider. He's also very intelligent and has done things with his life. I'm very happy for the Hooah.
Another thing (totally unrelated) that struck me this weekend is that the female form has lost the sense of wonder it used to hold for me. I used to look at the female form as mysterious, magical, wonderful, beautiful... Now it's rather dull. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because I've been exposed to it more? Maybe it's because I invested my sense of wonder in someone who really wasn't and it stripped away that naivety? The Hooah says that when you find someone important that the feeling comes back. I was contemplating that and was thinking that when I find a girl who leaves me awe-struck in all of her natural, simplistic beauty that I'll be on my way to finding a winner.
It's still a somewhat sobering situation. I want there to be some wonder in the world.
Back to work tomorrow. Long weekend coming up... And the Hooah will be out of town so I'll probably be stuck in my apartment being bored. Heh. I need to make more friends but it's not easy finding decent people. Especially when you already have one or two awesome friends and don't necessarily feel compelled to associate with the not-so-awesome people.
Action-Packed Saturday
Language: So... I had my first actual session with the Marine I am supposed to be tutoring. What a mess. I spent the hour and a half or so just going over his horrible study habits. Right now he's been getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night but when I asked him what he does with his time he has five hours unaccounted for. Even using his most generous numbers. He has the BYKI program but he has none of the lists and has been making his own. The problem is that he doesn't like a list and deletes it. Ugh. So tomorrow I am bringing him all of my lists to study from. He's banned from making new lists.
Apartment: Kitchen stuff acquired! Korean furniture... way too expensive. Ouch.
Personal: WOOHOO! Today consisted almost entirely (after the tutoring and spot-checking my Marines) of hanging out with the Hooah and the Musician (her new friend whom I just met... he played clarinet for the Pope once and knows a handful of other instruments). We drove down to my grandmother's city with the intent of getting my cooking stuff for the apartment but to kill time we wandered around the Korean part of town for a bit. The yo (Korean mattress) that I wanted was $280 instead of the $40 I was told it would be. Ouch.
We also stopped by a comic shop. They didn't have the comics that I wanted but the Hooah snagged a couple. Then we went to a gaming shop and the Hooah and I both picked up miniatures for our new game. It's hard finding good miniatures. Honest. While we were there we heard about a gaming convention for troops in Iraq. That's pretty awesome. Earlier today we heard of a local convention in June that we plan on raiding.
We finally caught up with my grandmother and she treated us to sushi... Mmmm. Sushi. So good. Then we picked up the kitchen stuff and ran over to the nickel arcade for about 30 minutes of game time before we had to hit the road to arrive at the local Rocky Horror Picture Show on time. This one was local but not quite as good as the one in the next city over. However, it was my second time going ever and I caught a whole lot more of the movie this time. The Musician was a virgin to the show but the Hooah didn't really trust the crowd or the cast (they were less professional than the other show) so we didn't make him go up there... Nothing wound up happening anyways. After the show concluded we killed 40 minutes trying to find a 7-11 because the other two were worried I'd kill them all without coffee. Then we drove back to my mess of an apartment, I gave them half of my bedding, and we racked out.
This whole trip was my idea... Which is a first. I'm not normally the one suggesting or organizing any sort of social interaction. A few people seemed surprised that I would be the one to suggest going to RHPS. It's a fun way to unwind and I figure that if the worst thing I do for my amusement is scream obscenities at a really bad movie, I'm golden.
It was a lot of fun... We'll have to do something similar later.
Apartment: Kitchen stuff acquired! Korean furniture... way too expensive. Ouch.
Personal: WOOHOO! Today consisted almost entirely (after the tutoring and spot-checking my Marines) of hanging out with the Hooah and the Musician (her new friend whom I just met... he played clarinet for the Pope once and knows a handful of other instruments). We drove down to my grandmother's city with the intent of getting my cooking stuff for the apartment but to kill time we wandered around the Korean part of town for a bit. The yo (Korean mattress) that I wanted was $280 instead of the $40 I was told it would be. Ouch.
We also stopped by a comic shop. They didn't have the comics that I wanted but the Hooah snagged a couple. Then we went to a gaming shop and the Hooah and I both picked up miniatures for our new game. It's hard finding good miniatures. Honest. While we were there we heard about a gaming convention for troops in Iraq. That's pretty awesome. Earlier today we heard of a local convention in June that we plan on raiding.
We finally caught up with my grandmother and she treated us to sushi... Mmmm. Sushi. So good. Then we picked up the kitchen stuff and ran over to the nickel arcade for about 30 minutes of game time before we had to hit the road to arrive at the local Rocky Horror Picture Show on time. This one was local but not quite as good as the one in the next city over. However, it was my second time going ever and I caught a whole lot more of the movie this time. The Musician was a virgin to the show but the Hooah didn't really trust the crowd or the cast (they were less professional than the other show) so we didn't make him go up there... Nothing wound up happening anyways. After the show concluded we killed 40 minutes trying to find a 7-11 because the other two were worried I'd kill them all without coffee. Then we drove back to my mess of an apartment, I gave them half of my bedding, and we racked out.
This whole trip was my idea... Which is a first. I'm not normally the one suggesting or organizing any sort of social interaction. A few people seemed surprised that I would be the one to suggest going to RHPS. It's a fun way to unwind and I figure that if the worst thing I do for my amusement is scream obscenities at a really bad movie, I'm golden.
It was a lot of fun... We'll have to do something similar later.
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