Training Day 63

Sunday was much better. I actually felt like I accomplished something.

Language: I looked at my vocabulary a bit... The big thing was finally getting the ink I need to print off the master-list of vocabulary to go over with my teacher's this week. Then I can publish the semester 2 lists for BYKI.

Marathon: Just a little trail run down to the point then back up the hill to base. I felt wretched most of Sunday and was dehydrated so I didn't push it too hard. I ran the whole thing without breaks in 1:25:32. It's dawned on me that the marathon is coming upon me closer than originally expected... It's going to be a gut check. That's fine. All the more reason to be proud of myself and my battered, broken body when I cross that finish line.

Once again, the solo run helped me work out some of the stuff in my head.

Automotive: I put some serious miles on my vehicle Sunday and, besides the clanging noise from the stuff in my trunk when I hit a bump, she performed beautifully. I'm getting better about noticing what is wrong with her and correcting it too: I added more oil and air to the tires before it became a problem.

Gaming: I went to Nickle City with some friends on Sunday! Mmmm... $5.00 gets you a whole lot of gaming. I was a bit underwhelmed this time, sadly, as the machines weren't as well maintained as they usually are. I also had the wrong shoes on for DDR (I was wearing core frames... shows you my state of mind for Sunday) and sucked pretty hard at it. Yes... That's my reasoning.

Personal: Let's see... First thing I did was head over and check out a studio apartment. It's close to the base and in a nice area but it's not quite what I need. A half-kitchen and nonexistent counter space don't really suit me. Time to look around some more...

I rounded up a small group of friends and hauled butt down to Mountain View. We went to Nickle City, saw my grandmother, ate really tasty food (and it didn't tank my system!), and picked up the boxes of stuff my dad had dropped off for me. My car didn't appreciate all the extra weight but it was worth it.

I also did a lot of thinking and soul-searching on Sunday. The run and subsequent shower (something about the water ionizing the air and taking all the dirt out of it so it's more O2 rich and people think better...) helped a lot. Do you know how frustrating it is to see a problem with yourself, look at your past and see a possible source for it, but be unable to correct it? It's really frustrating. Immensely frustrating.

I just am not sure how to undo years and years of training... This reaches down deep: My need to protect, watch over, and assist other people. It's my primary motivation for enlisting. It's a huge factor in all my relationships (and people can really get tired of it). It's a role I slip easily into. However, it's starting to do some damage... I don't need to be the surrogate anymore. I was never supposed to be surrogate in the first place.

Hrm.