Training Day 84

It's Easter Sunday today (posted a day late but such is life lately)!

Marathon: Everything hurts. Not as bad as I thought but going up the stairs today was not fun. Pushing the accelerator was not fun. It actually required effort to move my foot from pedal to pedal sometimes.

Metaphysics: Tried to talk to my aunt a bit about setting up my apartment... Got lectured. The only annoying part is the feeling that it's assumed that I don't put any thought behind the things I do or say. Now I need to go write an e-mail explaining the myriad of thinking I've been doing for well over a year now without being 'loud' as they say.

Personal: Today was a personal day spent in the company of my family and one good friend. The Hooah came with me to visit everyone at my great-grandmother's house. The Momrine and What's-His-Face (I don't feel like digging up his nickname right now) were supposed to come with us but bailed out. Boo. Hiss.

So the Hooah and I piled into my chariot (four cylinders of FURY) and hurried over the hill (an awesome drive where death lurks behind every twist and turn... I need a chalkboard to tally up how many times my passengers grab the "OH, SHIT!" handle) to my great-grandmother's house. It took us a couple of hours but a chunk of that time was due to the directions my grandmother gave me. Then we arrived. The eating began as soon as I crossed the threshold.

Well. Not quite. First there was the awkward and clumsy exchange of hugs, greetings, and introductions. It was the gauntlet I ran on the way to the kitchen. Therein was a treasure trove of devilled eggs. For the next 30 minutes or so I would periodically make my way between the kitchen and the vegetable and candy spreads in the dining room. That is until my great-grandmother cut me off after my third devilled egg. Apparently chipmunking whole devilled eggs is improper. I say it's the only way to not make a mess with the delicious filling.

Finally everyone showed up (about fourteen in all) and we ate the big lunch. After lunch was the Easter egg hunt. My great-grandfather had made crossword puzzles that contained clues to the locations of every one's eggs... The Hooah and I lost. Horrifically. I think the only thing we managed to find was a banana slug (or three) bigger than her hand.

After the Easter egg hunt the desserts came out. Bliss. Totally unhealthy, delicious bliss. I had something of everything and got away with it. It's like a double-whammy for me. I'm the 20-something Marine great-grandson. The family all sat around on the patio outside, chatted for a bit, and watched one cousin torment the other. Heh.

There was the Wall of Shame... it was an ongoing event as we uncovered more pictures. I had already seen the Hooah's wall of shame last weekend so this weekend she got to see a small piece of mine. The rest is scattered throughout three other households. While I didn't know most of the people in the pictures there were a couple of mine including a picture from early high school (I think) where I look uncommonly happy and one of the infamous kilt pictures from when I was five or so.

People eventually started leaving so the family made it's way inside to see people off. Finally, we found ourselves crashing in the living room and just talking. As one of my friends was there, a few embarrassing stories came up. It's part of the hazing/selection process. A good portion of the conversation was devoted to questioning my sexuality. That was courtesy of one of my uncles. A larger portion was dedicated to some of the growing pains I've been experiencing lately...

It was good. I really do love my family and how open we are with so much stuff. I know I can throw just about anything at them and they'll help me work through it with a minimal amount of fuss. Now, I'll catch some definite flak for being dumb but it's the good kind. The conversation continued into the car after one of the most awkward departures I've ever experienced.

After being urged to call a family friend about my computer, I finally do so. Next thing I know, I'm standing outside being handed off from one relative to the next, exchanging hugs and farewells, and watching the Hooah nearly wreck my car trying to move it. It's a little Toyota Corolla DX. How can you not handle such a teeny vehicle (barring some sort of medical condition for all your smart alecks out there waiting to remind me about the time I've plowed off the road... and those curbs had it coming)? The whole time I have this other guy on the phone until I finally said, "Apparently I'm leaving. I'll talk to you later."

I did drop my computer off, fortunately. I wonder how much I'll get for it and the monitor.

It was a really fun day... A great recharge. And I figured a lot out.

I am 20 years old. 20. I didn't become a Marine because I had nothing better to do with my life. I enlisted because it was the right thing to do and I still love it... and I haven't even done anything that exciting. I am happier with myself now than I have ever been before and there's still so much more to do! Right now, I am standing on the cusp of something great. I just need a couple more pieces to fall into place and my personal growth is going to hit overdrive.

Since arriving on this base I've been getting a crash course in a few life lessons that most people (supposedly) learn during their public education years. Fortunately, I tend to really scrutinize what happened, talk to a bunch of people, and try to figure out the how and why so I need less smacks to learn the same thing, but there's still a lot of growing to do. I'm working on it.

Tonight was the night that I realized the difference between women and girls. I don't want girls. I'm sick of girls and the boys who chase them. I'm sick of the games. I need/want a woman. The ladies that tend to stay away from the nonsense that possesses their "peers" because they know what what they want in life and what they need to do to get it. You'll typically find them at the library or at work. You'll also find them enjoying some sort of quiet and/or productive hobby. Not a lot of smoke and noise here. Not a lot of cheap thrills.

Those are the kind of ladies that I used to automatically hone in on at school. I was always partial to the composed women who were studious, disciplined, and seemed more mature than the girls around them. Amusingly enough, the ladies were often ignored by the boys looking for a cheap thrill. Unfortunately, I wasn't too confident socially back then. More unfortunate still is the fact that the military doesn't normally draw women to it.

The Hooah really helped me understand that. The kind of women that I really need/want are in college right now studying hard to follow their dreams. Take the lady I ran with yesterday, for example. She is about to finish her Master's. I was thinking how she would have made an outstanding Marine... disciplined, self-motivated, caring, and capable of leading... but the military is not where those kind of women go.

I need/want a lady. A professional, disciplined, self-starting lady and I'm probably not going to find her on any base I'll be stationed at. I'll be up to my knees in girls though. Instead, I need to get out and meet more civilians at my college courses, at my running club, at a (ballroom) dance hall, at an art club, or just out in town.... And take these new-found casual dating skills (it's like talking to people with a backdrop of activity!) to get to know them better.

I became a Marine to become the modern day knight. The professional military man sworn to fight the good fight and brave the darkness so that his loved ones don't have to. I see soldiering as a right, honorable profession, daresay the most honorable profession, and not just a stepping stone to some other job. Time shows us that knights don't marry other knights. Knights marry ladies. Ladies who encourage their knights to do great things and bring honor upon their names and their house and ladies who keep a little light burning at home when the rest of the world seems dark.

That is who I want. That is who I need. Someone with whom to share the adventure that I am just now starting being a 20-year old Lance Corporal.