Training Day 90 - Moving Forward

Language: I met with my speaking partner again today. Besides chatting a bit in the target language, she asked me some interesting questions. First she asked for my opinion on the state of her country... It's kind of awkward to explain to someone why you think a civil war, refugee crisis, and economic slow-down-bordering-on-collapse is unavoidable in her country and how other countries are interfering. But she just listened and seemed to acknowledge or even agree with what I was saying. Then she asked me if I was afraid and I explained to her that I wasn't and why. Heh. My "speech."

Personal: A lot of changes today... A lot. Starting with my hair. I only had it long because I was trying to blend in more with the civilians and because a certain someone liked it long. Well, I wasn't blending in with the civilians (probably that Marine swagger) and the second point is moot. Back to my beloved high and tight. I feel like a Marine. People know I am a Marine. I want to look like a Marine. My barber, who cut hair for 20 years on a base, seemed to really appreciate the change. Every time I sat down in his chair he was saying how my hair was getting to be too long.

Then I called my dad and future-step-mother. It was a good chat about a lot of important things... I continued to contact Dad throughout the day with everything that was happening. It's been a bizarre experience. I feel a lot closer to him since I've been sharing all of this with him.

For the record, I tried calling my mom too. Twice. Her voice mail is full.

I did something very... hard today. Extremely hard. And I am now keenly aware of my own humanity. Unfortunately, being human hurts but a couple close friends and family are seeing me through it. They are helping me become an adult. One friend told me that they would call this process becoming "sad and wise" in the Middle Ages. It's appropriate.

This is not something I ever expected to experience. Certainly not like this and certainly not when I'm 20. I feel old. And tired. Far older than I should be... I guess it's that whole "old soul" thing coming back to bite me.