It's PAY DAY! In more ways than one.

I love being salary! Seriously. Every 1st and 15th my life gets just a little brighter... Or today, as my BAH kicked in, a whole lot brighter. It's a nice change of pace after the difficulties I've been facing lately and, of course, the first thing I did with that money is take care of some business.

Language: Class is really horrific this week. Over half of the class hours consist of me sitting there staring at the screen trying to figure out what is going on. All this material is 2+ or higher on the DLPT and we are nowhere near there yet. I am, however, filing away where we found this material to use for studying later when I can actually understand it... I have two more days of this. And a military topics mid-term tomorrow.

Fitness: PT was jacked up today because one Marine was really late... so we did pull-ups and crunches again. I'm trying to help Huey with his pull-up form so that he doesn't get screwed out of a dozen pull-ups again. Then we did my abs routine... I really enjoy that routine. It's so simple but so effective. And it smokes people. I was pleased to discover that I'm doing better.

Combat: I started my taekwondo instruction this evening. It was hectic as I was the new student so I didn't get any speaking practice in. However, I'm going to enjoy the training. I wish I could show up every evening but I have to run on Mondays and Wednesdays or my fitness will deteriorate. During class I watched the other students and realized a few fundamental truths... First of all, you don't really know anything until you're a black belt. Even then, you're a newbie. I could probably wipe the floor with all but one or two people there with my limited military training and honed mindset.

I'm also making sure that I apply what I already know to the taekwondo instead of getting sucked into one style. I modified my stance to fall more in-line with the USMC "warrior stance" (which contains some good guard points that the other students were lacking) and applied a few SCARS lessons. For example, when we were instructed to block I didn't actually execute a block. I tried to execute a windmill strike to disrupt the incoming blow and throw my opponent off balance, not just soak up damage. I also remembered what SCARS has taught me about kicks and fought the urge to reset my leg after each kick. Instead, I made sure that I stepped through the kick. If I hit my opponent, then he's going to be moving back and I need to make sure I close that gap. I saw one of the black belts (the instructor's son) forget that point and his follow-up kicks hit only air. If I don't knock my opponent back then invading his space is still going to put him in a bad spot as I drive my elbow into his ribs.

The most important point has to be to avoid programming myself. I need to learn individual moves that I can execute as I wish to take charge of the situation. What I want to avoid is that syndrome so many other participants in so many different styles have where if something deviates from their drills they break down. I get the feeling this instructor understands that.

Of course... I probably won't be allowed to whip out mixed martial arts on my sparring partner. "Think fast!"

It was a bit strange being a 20 year old white belt... The only white belt in the class. I had four year olds with more seniority than me but the instructor did make a point of telling everyone that the respect works both ways. I respect them as senior belts. They respect me for being 20 and a Marine. That was the other odd thing about class. As one of the few adults and being a Marine I had to make sure I projected the proper image. Then a Marine officer showed up as his daughter is a student.

I think I did well. I already earned accolades for working hard. While we were doing our one-on-one drills with the instructor, he called the rest of the class' attention to us and pointed out that, even though this was my very first class, I was already understanding the material. Not with any skill, mind you, but I was executing the move asked of me. Well... It's a lot easier for me when I'm not squirming around, talking, or any of the other things kids are prone to doing. Heh. They're adorable, to be honest.

Apartment: I acquired my mail key today and found an over-stuffed box behind the lock. Some of that mail is from the previous tenant so I'll have to fix that. Then I submitted my change of address tonight so that I don't do the same thing to the poor guy who inherits my mailbox. Today one of my new friends (Honest. I'm making friends) gave me a light fixture as a gift... Well, she said it's a light fixture and it is but there's these green leafy things growing out of it. So tonight I stopped by OSH and snagged some pots for transfer, soil, and miracle grow. I'll drill some holes into the bottom of the fixture and use it was my starter pot as time goes on. While I was at OSH I made more keys and entrusted them to select individuals. No more lock-outs for me! I also need someone to watch my apartment when I go on class break or (God willing) on immersion to Korea.

Personal: Let's see... I received a really nice e-mail from my mother concerning everything that has been going on lately in her life and mine. It was good to hear it from her. It also made me think that I really haven't been given that side of my family a fair deal. I still remember a lot of the nonsense that occurred during my childhood and have been hesitant to approach them with some things. However... Look at how much I've changed in just the last few weeks. It isn't fair to think that they haven't changed too. I know they have, actually, and need to make sure that I treat my family according to who they are now. Not back then.

If people were to treat me based on how I was back then... Ugh. I want to pummel my past-self.

The Hooah and I had lunch today. Delicious chow. Not so good for the blood sugar. Whoops! But I resisted the urge to buy cake (even though it is delicious at that deli). Then I loaned her my PS2 and got her some ice cream as she has duty tonight and I resisted the urge to buy Coldstone for myself. I didn't even have a taste of hers. Man... The things people sacrifice for self-improvement.

It turns out I was still friended to the Momrine's LJ (now remedied) so I caught an earful this evening when I checked mine. There was a lot of cursing and ample use of caps lock. It pretty much verified every reason I had for dropping her like swollen ballast before she took my ship down with hers. There's no reason to go into detail but I think that this particular snippet, despite it's lack of colorful language, is the most damning:

"Enjoy your life. Its gonna be hard work."

I will, actually. Thank you. I know that was intended as an insult and a curse (which is how I know that she is definitely not the sort of person I want to have anything to do with) but I enjoy hard work. I don't think it is something to be feared, avoided, or minimized. As far as I am concerned, the greater the challenge, the greater the reward, the greater the self-improvement, the greater the glory, the greater the sense of satisfaction. It's been proven time and time again in my life that if I am not working hard that something has gone seriously wrong and I'm miserable.

I feel great... I just know that I am fully capable of everything I want to accomplish. There are going to be snags and I'm not going to get to do everything I think I should (like I may not go to Korea despite desperately wanting to and I don't have the time or resources to pursue all the projects I want to) but, in general, my life is amazing. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am going to find an absolutely wonderful, one-of-a-kind lady who is everything I truly want or need. I know that my career is going to allow me to accomplish what I want to do. I know this is all due to the grand plan of The Man Upstairs and the subtle adjustments He makes to my life and my dedication to accomplishing what He sets before. He sets the stage. It is up to me to perform as directed... And I am rewarded with an incredibly fulfilling life for it.

And even when I fail... When I stumble, like I did with the Momrine and so many other events in the past and in my future... I push through, pick up the pieces, and am better for it. It's a crucible. I want to wrap this up with a quote from my mom about this:

"people make mistakes... it's how we grow... and how we learn... and how we own up to those mistakes, tells the world who we are as people... are we honorable...? are we fake...? do we look life straight in the eye... or do we hide from it...?

"it is easy to be "good" when life has always gone your way... it is far more difficult and valuable, and noble to be able to say... "I was tested... I may have even faltered some... but I rose to the occasion... I did my best and I stood tall..."

"some people can hide and therefore never really live... or some can push forward... into the unknown... into life..."