Training Day 90 - Moving Forward

Language: I met with my speaking partner again today. Besides chatting a bit in the target language, she asked me some interesting questions. First she asked for my opinion on the state of her country... It's kind of awkward to explain to someone why you think a civil war, refugee crisis, and economic slow-down-bordering-on-collapse is unavoidable in her country and how other countries are interfering. But she just listened and seemed to acknowledge or even agree with what I was saying. Then she asked me if I was afraid and I explained to her that I wasn't and why. Heh. My "speech."

Personal: A lot of changes today... A lot. Starting with my hair. I only had it long because I was trying to blend in more with the civilians and because a certain someone liked it long. Well, I wasn't blending in with the civilians (probably that Marine swagger) and the second point is moot. Back to my beloved high and tight. I feel like a Marine. People know I am a Marine. I want to look like a Marine. My barber, who cut hair for 20 years on a base, seemed to really appreciate the change. Every time I sat down in his chair he was saying how my hair was getting to be too long.

Then I called my dad and future-step-mother. It was a good chat about a lot of important things... I continued to contact Dad throughout the day with everything that was happening. It's been a bizarre experience. I feel a lot closer to him since I've been sharing all of this with him.

For the record, I tried calling my mom too. Twice. Her voice mail is full.

I did something very... hard today. Extremely hard. And I am now keenly aware of my own humanity. Unfortunately, being human hurts but a couple close friends and family are seeing me through it. They are helping me become an adult. One friend told me that they would call this process becoming "sad and wise" in the Middle Ages. It's appropriate.

This is not something I ever expected to experience. Certainly not like this and certainly not when I'm 20. I feel old. And tired. Far older than I should be... I guess it's that whole "old soul" thing coming back to bite me.

Training Day 89 - Unit 9 Test

Language: I destroyed my tests today. I scored a 90 on my listening test (A-) and a 100 on my reading test (duh). I had to correct my teacher's English to get the two points that shifted me from 98 to 100 and a couple students seemed annoyed that I even argued for those two points... But it's a 100! The GPA may not change but the boost to my confidence is huge. I almost enjoyed this test as I could really understand what was going on. Now, just one more unit test until I cross into virgin territory... Then people will stop saying I'm doing well because this is all stuff I "learned" before.

Military: The CO gave me (and all the other Marines) a direct order to disobey my school house today. Apparently there is some sort of spat going on way above my pay grade... but my CO is a good guy so I know this is for a good reason.

Fitness: Squad PT with my new Corporal today. We had a circuit course of pull-ups, assorted push-ups, ab exercises, and monkey "fornicators". Those burn. A lot. Decent PT session though and it was good to chat during the pull-up pyramid that followed.

I also found out today (second-hand so I need to confirm it on Monday) that my PFT will be in June because of the marathon I am running. That gives me almost two more months to prepare! This is going to be an awesome PFT to get my cutting score up for Corporal.

Personal: This is a pretty good start to my weekend... Made better by the fact that I went out with the Hooah and Zoomie for sushi. Not only was the sushi good but the company was excellent. It has been a long time since I just sat down and enjoyed a meal too. We went to the restaurant that my speaking partner has started working out... Both of them teased me mercilessly about that, of course.

Training Day 88

Language: My speaking test today was horrible. My thoughts were all fragmented when I tried to put my monologue together so of course nothing I said in the target language came out right. It didn't help that my memories of the event were shaky at best. Fortunately, I did well on the roleplay conversation so I am hoping that will balance out my score. I did get a lot of self-study in today too.

Military: Surprise inspection by the XO! Fortunately, my platoon wasn't jacked up so he didn't harass us but we were out there twice as long because other platoons were. He had a few things about Marines slacking off because of being on this post surrounded by all the other services in a college atmosphere. College? I think that's rather generous. I feel like I'm in high school again.

Apartment: The landlord called today and asked me if I were still interested in the apartment. Of course I said yes. Now I have an appointment on Sunday to properly impress upon him what kind of tenant I am going to be... I feel really confident about this. Honestly.

Personal: I've been fiddling with dollar origami lately. It's fun and a good way to keep my mind and hands entertained when people are just droning on. It'll be even better once I've memorised some patterns and can produce some pretty interesting tips.

I had dinner with a friend today... Who informed me that I'm seen as an older brother now. That actually means a lot to me. I've been called a 'brother' before for some arbitrary reason or another but I felt like this friend means it. It's also pretty amusing as I bet that if anyone were to ask my younger siblings if they enjoyed having me as an older brother that the answer would be "No" and here is someone asking for it.

Training Day 87

Language: So I head speaking practice today with one of my teachers. Unfortunately, I was really tired today and dragged through it. Then I wasn't able to meet with my speaking partner after class because my new squad leader said I'm not authorised to miss formation for speaking practice that isn't school-sanctioned.

Marathon: I went on the infamous laundry run today. I only ran 6mi at a slow pace but it was a good, fun run with some good people. If I can just remember these courses, I'll have tons of good places to take my Marines running. And now I can qualify as an official member of the club.

Fitness: More pull-ups today.

Personal: I'm just pushing through things. I have so many different projects in the air right now that it's hard to feel much one way or the other. At least I am getting out more... the runners in my club invited me to the pub but I had to go field day instead. However, I'm hoping to move out soon so then I could start joining them.

Training Day 86

Language: My brain is trying to leak out of my ears! Class is that dull. My sleeping problems really are boredom related... When I'm actually working, I'm alert. Right now I'm trying to stave off sleep with dollar bill origami. At least I met with my speaking partner today. Oh! And one of my classmates (whose husband is a Major in the Corps) told my CO (!) about my efforts to bring the BYKI program to my peers. He indicated that was outstanding. My MLI was also talking about making sure I get recognition for my efforts. Awesome side effect. I was already using the program for myself and just wanted to share.

Fitness: Pull-ups today. I can still do 20. Kill.

Personal: I feel confident about the future. Now if I can just get a couple more projects to resolve themselves...

Training Day 85

Language: I hate this mind-numbingly dull review stuff. I liked it more when my class moved quickly from chapter to chapter... It's a challenge to stay awake in class. It really is. Still just plugging away at it.

Fitness: So I wanted to do my track workout today with the running group... but instead my fireteam leader took us for a long-ish run this morning. It wasn't terrible but it was more than my legs were in the mood for. I finished it, of course, but at a snail's pace.

Apartment: I called the landlord of that apartment I want today. He's still going through the applications but he says he should have word for me on Wednesday. We'll see. I'm feel pretty good about this one.

Personal: I am a horrible poker player. But I'm a pretty good runner.

Training Day 84

It's Easter Sunday today (posted a day late but such is life lately)!

Marathon: Everything hurts. Not as bad as I thought but going up the stairs today was not fun. Pushing the accelerator was not fun. It actually required effort to move my foot from pedal to pedal sometimes.

Metaphysics: Tried to talk to my aunt a bit about setting up my apartment... Got lectured. The only annoying part is the feeling that it's assumed that I don't put any thought behind the things I do or say. Now I need to go write an e-mail explaining the myriad of thinking I've been doing for well over a year now without being 'loud' as they say.

Personal: Today was a personal day spent in the company of my family and one good friend. The Hooah came with me to visit everyone at my great-grandmother's house. The Momrine and What's-His-Face (I don't feel like digging up his nickname right now) were supposed to come with us but bailed out. Boo. Hiss.

So the Hooah and I piled into my chariot (four cylinders of FURY) and hurried over the hill (an awesome drive where death lurks behind every twist and turn... I need a chalkboard to tally up how many times my passengers grab the "OH, SHIT!" handle) to my great-grandmother's house. It took us a couple of hours but a chunk of that time was due to the directions my grandmother gave me. Then we arrived. The eating began as soon as I crossed the threshold.

Well. Not quite. First there was the awkward and clumsy exchange of hugs, greetings, and introductions. It was the gauntlet I ran on the way to the kitchen. Therein was a treasure trove of devilled eggs. For the next 30 minutes or so I would periodically make my way between the kitchen and the vegetable and candy spreads in the dining room. That is until my great-grandmother cut me off after my third devilled egg. Apparently chipmunking whole devilled eggs is improper. I say it's the only way to not make a mess with the delicious filling.

Finally everyone showed up (about fourteen in all) and we ate the big lunch. After lunch was the Easter egg hunt. My great-grandfather had made crossword puzzles that contained clues to the locations of every one's eggs... The Hooah and I lost. Horrifically. I think the only thing we managed to find was a banana slug (or three) bigger than her hand.

After the Easter egg hunt the desserts came out. Bliss. Totally unhealthy, delicious bliss. I had something of everything and got away with it. It's like a double-whammy for me. I'm the 20-something Marine great-grandson. The family all sat around on the patio outside, chatted for a bit, and watched one cousin torment the other. Heh.

There was the Wall of Shame... it was an ongoing event as we uncovered more pictures. I had already seen the Hooah's wall of shame last weekend so this weekend she got to see a small piece of mine. The rest is scattered throughout three other households. While I didn't know most of the people in the pictures there were a couple of mine including a picture from early high school (I think) where I look uncommonly happy and one of the infamous kilt pictures from when I was five or so.

People eventually started leaving so the family made it's way inside to see people off. Finally, we found ourselves crashing in the living room and just talking. As one of my friends was there, a few embarrassing stories came up. It's part of the hazing/selection process. A good portion of the conversation was devoted to questioning my sexuality. That was courtesy of one of my uncles. A larger portion was dedicated to some of the growing pains I've been experiencing lately...

It was good. I really do love my family and how open we are with so much stuff. I know I can throw just about anything at them and they'll help me work through it with a minimal amount of fuss. Now, I'll catch some definite flak for being dumb but it's the good kind. The conversation continued into the car after one of the most awkward departures I've ever experienced.

After being urged to call a family friend about my computer, I finally do so. Next thing I know, I'm standing outside being handed off from one relative to the next, exchanging hugs and farewells, and watching the Hooah nearly wreck my car trying to move it. It's a little Toyota Corolla DX. How can you not handle such a teeny vehicle (barring some sort of medical condition for all your smart alecks out there waiting to remind me about the time I've plowed off the road... and those curbs had it coming)? The whole time I have this other guy on the phone until I finally said, "Apparently I'm leaving. I'll talk to you later."

I did drop my computer off, fortunately. I wonder how much I'll get for it and the monitor.

It was a really fun day... A great recharge. And I figured a lot out.

I am 20 years old. 20. I didn't become a Marine because I had nothing better to do with my life. I enlisted because it was the right thing to do and I still love it... and I haven't even done anything that exciting. I am happier with myself now than I have ever been before and there's still so much more to do! Right now, I am standing on the cusp of something great. I just need a couple more pieces to fall into place and my personal growth is going to hit overdrive.

Since arriving on this base I've been getting a crash course in a few life lessons that most people (supposedly) learn during their public education years. Fortunately, I tend to really scrutinize what happened, talk to a bunch of people, and try to figure out the how and why so I need less smacks to learn the same thing, but there's still a lot of growing to do. I'm working on it.

Tonight was the night that I realized the difference between women and girls. I don't want girls. I'm sick of girls and the boys who chase them. I'm sick of the games. I need/want a woman. The ladies that tend to stay away from the nonsense that possesses their "peers" because they know what what they want in life and what they need to do to get it. You'll typically find them at the library or at work. You'll also find them enjoying some sort of quiet and/or productive hobby. Not a lot of smoke and noise here. Not a lot of cheap thrills.

Those are the kind of ladies that I used to automatically hone in on at school. I was always partial to the composed women who were studious, disciplined, and seemed more mature than the girls around them. Amusingly enough, the ladies were often ignored by the boys looking for a cheap thrill. Unfortunately, I wasn't too confident socially back then. More unfortunate still is the fact that the military doesn't normally draw women to it.

The Hooah really helped me understand that. The kind of women that I really need/want are in college right now studying hard to follow their dreams. Take the lady I ran with yesterday, for example. She is about to finish her Master's. I was thinking how she would have made an outstanding Marine... disciplined, self-motivated, caring, and capable of leading... but the military is not where those kind of women go.

I need/want a lady. A professional, disciplined, self-starting lady and I'm probably not going to find her on any base I'll be stationed at. I'll be up to my knees in girls though. Instead, I need to get out and meet more civilians at my college courses, at my running club, at a (ballroom) dance hall, at an art club, or just out in town.... And take these new-found casual dating skills (it's like talking to people with a backdrop of activity!) to get to know them better.

I became a Marine to become the modern day knight. The professional military man sworn to fight the good fight and brave the darkness so that his loved ones don't have to. I see soldiering as a right, honorable profession, daresay the most honorable profession, and not just a stepping stone to some other job. Time shows us that knights don't marry other knights. Knights marry ladies. Ladies who encourage their knights to do great things and bring honor upon their names and their house and ladies who keep a little light burning at home when the rest of the world seems dark.

That is who I want. That is who I need. Someone with whom to share the adventure that I am just now starting being a 20-year old Lance Corporal.