Language: I assigned myself too much homework... and I wasted a couple hours today. Blech. Anyways, I was up late to do my laundry so I did get the worst of my homework done but I have to get my extra homework done tomorrow morning before class. I hate rushing it like this. Tonight wasn't all bad, thankfully. I did go out to a Korean restaurant right across from my street. So very, very tasty... I could immediately tell it was going to be good thanks to all the locals Koreans patronizing the place.
Fitness: Oh man. Corporal smoked my squad on a circuit course today followed by some 10-count body builders. I can tell it was good PT as my muscles actually started failing and moving my arms hurts a bit.
Apartment: My bookshelf arrived today... but without the dowels to put it all together. I was too busy to assemble it anyways so that's not really a problem. Then there are only two working dryers on my complex so I had to stay up late to get my uniforms dry for tomorrow.
Personal: Today was a day of unpleasant realities and growing pains. I ran into one of the girls I dated previously just to find out that she got married to the boy toy (per the guy's teachers) she met just a couple weeks after our situation dissolved. She got married six months ago so they had a very short courtship. I'm not pining after her. It's just the disturbing and growing trend for girls to to tell me something isn't okay with me but then they run off and do that exact thing and more with whoever is after me. It's as if I'm sort of expendable catalyst for relationships and I resent it.
While working out this line of thought I also realized that every nearly girl I've dated has been... Well. In far less than optimal conditions. Ranging from having recently suffered a severely traumatic experience to already involved in a really messy relationship. Now, I have plenty of my own nonsense to work through but, especially after looking back and seeing that I wouldn't have been interested or pursued those people if not for those negative circumstances, I have to wonder what that says about me. A few people have offered explanations including "empathy," "being a nice guy," and "growing up." Amusingly enough, those same things explain why girls find it so easy to use me.
Two of these same people (my uncle and father) have also said that I suffer from a bad case of "Captain-Save-A-Ho Syndrome." I hear this after each girl.
Fortunately, it is treatable. All I have to do is stop looking. Just stop looking and I'll stop paying attention to and pursuing these girls. I know it's true because I tell myself the same thing every day but it's been harder trying to get my subconscious to comply so I may have to break out my barnyard reprogramming again (I say "quack!" aloud or some other animal sound every time the offending thought pops up into my head until I find the very idea hilarious and, as my father said, "scratch the record" responsible for repeating that thought in my subconscious). If I'm not looking around and thinking that I'm supposed to find a girl I'll be free to focus on improving myself.
Then I'll be happy. I'll be happy with myself and with where I'll be going and I'll be sorting through and repairing my damage instead of burning resources on trying to fix other people who often don't want to fix themselves. Then one day, while I'm minding my own business and keeping busy, someone wonderful will sneak into my life. Someone who is also taking care of her own life and tries to work through and deal with her damage instead of succumb to it. At some point we'll both look up from our work, realize the other person is there, and say, "Hey... You seem pretty cool. Where did you come from? Want to hang out?"
Hrm. That's not unpleasant at all. Two people who have already worked through their own nonsense and have been getting their in dependant lives in order realizing that together they can accomplish much more. And the company is good too.
09 May 2007
07 May 2007
Kickin' the Week Off
Language: Today was more BS work and my sugar crashed after lunch so class sucked... but I met with my mentor today for individual homework then whipped it on tonight. I taught myself two chapters of vocabulary: one new for tomorrow's quiz and one really old for review. Then I proceeded to translate two homework sections and write the main idea of those sections in Korean. I then wrote sentences using the grammar patterns of that chapter. It took me hours but I feel like I accomplished something tonight.
Fitness: The Det Run was cancelled because of a base-wide clean-up this week... so I went to my running club's interval training today. It didn't go too well. Besides my still being sick, hungy, dehydrated, and tired (heh) I was also really confused what was going on so I took to the track too quickly. Ultimately, my body just ran out of gas. Oh well. They were all telling me to take it easy this soon after a marathon anyways.
Apartment: No bookshelves today! My class leader determined (rightly so) that the six-foot panels wouldn't fit in my Corolla. I might have been able to pull it off but it would have sucked. Instead he'll deliver them via truck tomorrow. I also joined my local freecycle today so hopefully I can find more stuff. Mmm... Shelves. Storage space. I also need a good drawing surface and whatever else... This payday I am going to get a lot of kitchen stuff from my grandmother and then raid the Korean markets for some cultural furniture items. Start living the life!
Medical: So... My sugar crashed today. Hard. Maybe it just seemed worse today because yesterday was a good day. Now I know that I really don't mix well with deli meats or pesto sauce. Lunch was a mistake today.
Personal: I talked to a couple people about my references to join the local masonic lodge... First of all, both of them joked about telling them all sorts of stuff. Then I started getting grilled by my squad leader about who the freemasons are. Then I talked to my platoon sergeant about it. Besides us discussing religion and him asserting that the freemasons are a cult (but so is the Corps), he told me that becoming a freemason would not jeopardize my career. So I'm going for it. I think I figured out who I want to be my references tonight.
While running with the club this afternoon I was once again impressed by just how friendly they are. I was also impressed by the four very attractive young ladies who showed up. What isn't there to like? They are slim, toned, fit, and seem to defy age (I know they are older than I think they are)... They are obviously motivated towards self-improvement and have the dedication necessary to pull it off having run marathons and/or other intense events. I know that one of them is about a week away from her Master's. Unfortunately, I also learned that two of them are dating Naval officers. Heh. Hopefully they'll show up to Wednesday's run and I can get to know them all (males, females, young, old... everyone) better. We're supposed to go to the pub (obviously I won't drink) right after the run.
After the run I had dinner with the Hooah, the Momrine, and That Guy. I really can't think of a good nickname for him. It was... anticlimactic? We showed up and the Hooah read, the Momrine cleaned, and I studied. That Guy didn't even acknowledge the Hooah's or mine existence. Hrm... The Momrine got a little irate with me when we disagreed over what makes a person an adult or not. I've just run into far too many children having children to think that propagating the species is what turns someone into an adult.
Heh. The Hooah also called me a masochist today because I said I was going to enjoy my run. Is it that strange to enjoy training? Honestly. Every moment of my life is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It's here and then it's gone. I should make the most out of it. What more, when I finally exhaust my store of moments... What impact will I have left on the world? Who will notice my passing? Why? It'll be because at some point in my life I was tested and I seized control of the situation. The only way to do that is to prepare for that moment.
People very rarely rise to the occasion. They are much more likely to fall back on training.
Besides, I like being able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
Finally... I thought almost no one read this blog but now I keep on hearing rumors of people I really wouldn't expect to read it reading it. Who are you people and why are you here?! Comment please.
Fitness: The Det Run was cancelled because of a base-wide clean-up this week... so I went to my running club's interval training today. It didn't go too well. Besides my still being sick, hungy, dehydrated, and tired (heh) I was also really confused what was going on so I took to the track too quickly. Ultimately, my body just ran out of gas. Oh well. They were all telling me to take it easy this soon after a marathon anyways.
Apartment: No bookshelves today! My class leader determined (rightly so) that the six-foot panels wouldn't fit in my Corolla. I might have been able to pull it off but it would have sucked. Instead he'll deliver them via truck tomorrow. I also joined my local freecycle today so hopefully I can find more stuff. Mmm... Shelves. Storage space. I also need a good drawing surface and whatever else... This payday I am going to get a lot of kitchen stuff from my grandmother and then raid the Korean markets for some cultural furniture items. Start living the life!
Medical: So... My sugar crashed today. Hard. Maybe it just seemed worse today because yesterday was a good day. Now I know that I really don't mix well with deli meats or pesto sauce. Lunch was a mistake today.
Personal: I talked to a couple people about my references to join the local masonic lodge... First of all, both of them joked about telling them all sorts of stuff. Then I started getting grilled by my squad leader about who the freemasons are. Then I talked to my platoon sergeant about it. Besides us discussing religion and him asserting that the freemasons are a cult (but so is the Corps), he told me that becoming a freemason would not jeopardize my career. So I'm going for it. I think I figured out who I want to be my references tonight.
While running with the club this afternoon I was once again impressed by just how friendly they are. I was also impressed by the four very attractive young ladies who showed up. What isn't there to like? They are slim, toned, fit, and seem to defy age (I know they are older than I think they are)... They are obviously motivated towards self-improvement and have the dedication necessary to pull it off having run marathons and/or other intense events. I know that one of them is about a week away from her Master's. Unfortunately, I also learned that two of them are dating Naval officers. Heh. Hopefully they'll show up to Wednesday's run and I can get to know them all (males, females, young, old... everyone) better. We're supposed to go to the pub (obviously I won't drink) right after the run.
After the run I had dinner with the Hooah, the Momrine, and That Guy. I really can't think of a good nickname for him. It was... anticlimactic? We showed up and the Hooah read, the Momrine cleaned, and I studied. That Guy didn't even acknowledge the Hooah's or mine existence. Hrm... The Momrine got a little irate with me when we disagreed over what makes a person an adult or not. I've just run into far too many children having children to think that propagating the species is what turns someone into an adult.
Heh. The Hooah also called me a masochist today because I said I was going to enjoy my run. Is it that strange to enjoy training? Honestly. Every moment of my life is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It's here and then it's gone. I should make the most out of it. What more, when I finally exhaust my store of moments... What impact will I have left on the world? Who will notice my passing? Why? It'll be because at some point in my life I was tested and I seized control of the situation. The only way to do that is to prepare for that moment.
People very rarely rise to the occasion. They are much more likely to fall back on training.
Besides, I like being able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
Finally... I thought almost no one read this blog but now I keep on hearing rumors of people I really wouldn't expect to read it reading it. Who are you people and why are you here?! Comment please.
06 May 2007
Sunday, Lazy Sunday
Language: I did my homework. Whee.
Military: I drove all the way out to base for the inspection... Just so it wouldn't happen. So we stood in front of someone else's room. And the Corporal there said I didn't have to show up at all because I live off base but I don't want to dodge my duty just because I have BAH. I'm trying to minimize how special it makes me. Not capitalize on it.
Apartment: I cleaned! Cleaned the bedroom. Cleaned the bathroom. Cleaned the kitchen. Tomorrow I am supposed to receive my bookshelves so I can clean the living room too. Joy! No, seriously. I'm ecstatic. Once my stuff is where it belongs I'll have easy access to all my projects.
Medical: Today was my first day eating according to the Krimmel Plan... My mind is pretty clear, actually. No sugar crashes. However, I've been somewhat hungry all day and craving sweets. When I went out this evening with the Hooah we went to a Carl's Jr and... Ugh. I wanted to eat something so bad but none of it was what I needed to eat. So I waited until I went home to eat. This week is going to be an experiment. Then, once pay day rolls around again, I should have a better idea about how much I eat. I'll also have a full kitchen set so I can prepare full meals. Yum!
Personal: Let's see... I need to find two references for my Freemason application to be reviewed. I'm thinking about my platoon sergeant and my class leader. I'll have to check with them tomorrow. Other than that... Lazy today. I found I had a lot more time than I thought I would and I didn't do too much with it. I think I've been craving some sort of R&R... The weather was gorgeous too. Oh well. I'll figure something out.
The Hooah and I hung out for a little bit this evening. Just idle chit-chat... And then right before I drop her off she said some stuff that just didn't click right. So it rattled around in my head for the 20 minute drive home. Then I had to call her to sort it out before I gave myself an aneurysm. Contradictory information/statements suck. Seriously.
Oh. Dinner tomorrow with friends. Rockin'. But this also means I'm going to have to figure out how to stick to the Krimmel Plan while in someone else's house. Hrm.
Military: I drove all the way out to base for the inspection... Just so it wouldn't happen. So we stood in front of someone else's room. And the Corporal there said I didn't have to show up at all because I live off base but I don't want to dodge my duty just because I have BAH. I'm trying to minimize how special it makes me. Not capitalize on it.
Apartment: I cleaned! Cleaned the bedroom. Cleaned the bathroom. Cleaned the kitchen. Tomorrow I am supposed to receive my bookshelves so I can clean the living room too. Joy! No, seriously. I'm ecstatic. Once my stuff is where it belongs I'll have easy access to all my projects.
Medical: Today was my first day eating according to the Krimmel Plan... My mind is pretty clear, actually. No sugar crashes. However, I've been somewhat hungry all day and craving sweets. When I went out this evening with the Hooah we went to a Carl's Jr and... Ugh. I wanted to eat something so bad but none of it was what I needed to eat. So I waited until I went home to eat. This week is going to be an experiment. Then, once pay day rolls around again, I should have a better idea about how much I eat. I'll also have a full kitchen set so I can prepare full meals. Yum!
Personal: Let's see... I need to find two references for my Freemason application to be reviewed. I'm thinking about my platoon sergeant and my class leader. I'll have to check with them tomorrow. Other than that... Lazy today. I found I had a lot more time than I thought I would and I didn't do too much with it. I think I've been craving some sort of R&R... The weather was gorgeous too. Oh well. I'll figure something out.
The Hooah and I hung out for a little bit this evening. Just idle chit-chat... And then right before I drop her off she said some stuff that just didn't click right. So it rattled around in my head for the 20 minute drive home. Then I had to call her to sort it out before I gave myself an aneurysm. Contradictory information/statements suck. Seriously.
Oh. Dinner tomorrow with friends. Rockin'. But this also means I'm going to have to figure out how to stick to the Krimmel Plan while in someone else's house. Hrm.
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